Please
by Fade131
Summary: I need to know that I'm important enough to try and save, important enough to fight for, important enough to put up with. Tell me. Stop me. Love me.  Originally posted 10.22.2008


"You know I can't fix this."

No. That wasn't true. We could fix it, together, if only I would-

"I'm not ever coming home."

But I want to. More than anything, I want to. Please, can't you see it...?

"You should just give up on me, Naruto."

Don't. Don't give up on me. Chase me, hunt me, drag me back, hold me down. Don't ever let me go again.

"Why are you still fighting? Why haven't you just given up? I don't care about you, or this Village, or anyone. I want you all dead."

I'm lying, I know you can see it. Please, stop me. I do care about you. I _love_you. I love our Village. I miss our friends, our life. I want to be home and happy and safe. I don't want anyone else to die.

"I hate you. All of you. If not for you, my family would still be alive. My brother would still be alive."

I could never hate them, not even for this. Not even for Itachi. I don't want to do this. I want to be what he wanted me to be. I want to be a protector, not an avenger. Like him.

"Just let me go."

If you forget about me, if you leave me, if you stop loving me... What reason will I have left to be alive? What can I ever be or accomplish without you? Without your approval? Without seeing that stupid grin on your face?

I'm walking away. I'm turning my back on you. You could destroy me, right now, right here. You could kill me and end all this stupidity once and for all. I'd never blame you for it. I would thank you. It would mean so much, if you did it. But I don't want you to, any more than I want you to let me walk away. I want you to stop me. I want you to hold me back from the abyss, because with every step I get closer and closer to falling for eternity. If you let me leave now, I'll never come back. I can't. Because I love you, so much. I know I'm hurting you. I know this isn't fair. But if you let me go, then you can't possibly love me as much. I know we're friends. I know I never said it. I know I never responded to your comments, your advances, not even your friendship, before I left you and everyone else behind. But I need to know if I'm still as important to you now as I was then. I need to know that you still love me more than anyone. I need to know that I'm important enough to try and save, important enough to fight for, important enough to put up with. Tell me. Stop me. Love me.

Please.

The first step jarred him, froze him, but the second launched him into action, and before the third could fall he had his arms around Sasuke's waist, holding onto him as if his life depended on it, his tear-streaked face buried against the Uchiha's neck. Hidden like that, the spread of his whiskers wasn't visible, nor the red that bled into his eyes, but clawed nails dug into the brunette's skin, leaving bloody, jagged marks. He couldn't have escaped if he wanted to, but he had never really wanted to, had he? The blond's grip was unrelenting, unforgiving. He was trapped. He'd never escape this, never be able to leave. He'd be dragged back to Konoha, come hell or high water, he would be put on trial for desertion, for consorting with the enemy, for a hundred things, and Kami protect them from a demon's wrath if they didn't forgive him. He'd be stripped of rank - what little he held - bound, tied down by the law. He could see himself, forced to live a civilian's life, forced to stay by Naruto's side forever, no matter what. Forced to stand calmly by as the world fell apart, and was put back together. He could imagine what that life would be like. He could imagine being forced to eat ramen at least once a day, and watching his childhood friend become the most powerful shinobi in history - and he was getting there, slowly but surely. Standing by when Naruto was named Hokage. Watching their friends grow up and pair off. Hearing about the downfall of the Akatsuki, the end of all this danger. Living in the Village - _their_Village - at peace. Claws dug sharply into his arm above the wrist guard, into his chest through his shirt. There could be marks enough to cover the scars left by others, to drown out the echoes of being claimed by those who had no right to him. Naruto could hold him tight enough that he wouldn't fall apart.

He'd never be able to leave. Not for a moment. He'd never be here again, or any of the places he'd been. He'd likely never see Suigetsu or Juugo or Karin. Never again. He'd be trapped, caged, _forever_, with no escape.

"I love you, 'ske. Don't go."

But how could he be trapped, when he felt so free?


End file.
